Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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