I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
