Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
