Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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