guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Randomize