My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
