Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
So much Jack, so little girl.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize