I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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