Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
