what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
