oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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