is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
