I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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