Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I could fuck to npr.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
