Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize