you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize