Porn is love you can see.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
