I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
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