The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
