super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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