It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
This baby is an asshole
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
