And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
