i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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