So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
