Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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