she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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