you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
