i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize