and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
