she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I party with great urgency now.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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