OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
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