I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
