with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
