I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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