Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
