I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
