..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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