listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Welp...herpes.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
