So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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