i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
