I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
