Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
barbara walters just said penis...
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
