i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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