it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Randomize
