Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I can tuck mytits in my pants
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Randomize
