In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
