Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize