Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
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