but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
