Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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