So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Everyone says I win the strip club
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
