oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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