No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
When are your genitals available?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize