did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
