So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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