Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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