I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
