singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
