she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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