haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
