i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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