What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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